FC Humor

One of my fellow FCs found this hilarious list of snappy consultant answers to stupid and/or annoying questions we hear on the road.  A consultant from another organization passed it along and we can all relate WAY too well.  I just had to share it.  And in case you were wondering - yes, we do get asked these questions frequently and although we would like to no, we don't usually answer them this way :)


Snappy Consultant Answers to Stupid FAQs:


1. So are you still in college?
Yes, I fly back home every Tuesday and Thursday for classes.


2. Are you a Tri Delta? 
No, I'm a Zeta who majored in fraternity espionage.


3. Where have you been?
Do you have a map and 2 hrs? 


4. So you just travel all of the time and party with the chapter? 
Yes, that’s all I do.


5. Isn’t it hard living out of a suitcase? 
Actually it’s a lot easier than living inside of one. 


6. Isn’t traveling fun? 
Sure - I just love jet lag, TWA breakfasts, 200 lbs of luggage and puddle jumper plane rides to one horse towns like this place.


7. Does “Nationals” pay for your travel?
No, but as a loyal sister I don’t mind paying thousands of dollars to help out.


8. How big was your chapter? 
Well there were only 3 of us but we got along really well.


9. What offices did you hold? 
Well to tell you the truth, I was never initiated; I couldn’t make grades.


10. Why did you decide to be come a consultant?
Brainwashing and temporary insanity.


11. Are you married? 
Yes, my husband and I feel that the fact that we are separated for months at a time strengthens our marriage.


12. Do you need any sheets and towels? 
No, I carry them along with my spare nightstand and rollaway bed.


13. Do you have everything you need? 
Got a spare wardrobe, private bathroom, hot tub, stress tablets and a sleazy date for Saturday night? 


14. Aren’t we a good chapter? 
Yes! I especially love your $2500 indebtedness, your senior bar crawl t-shirts, hazing your new members, and your total disregard for the Fraternity’s bylaws. Keep up the good work.


15. Do you want to eat? 
No, in honor of USA for Africa, I’ve gone on a starvation diet and often fast for days at a time.


16. Do you get paid for this? 
I’ve never met a slave that got paid.


17. So this is your permanent job?
Well at least until I’m 65, the retirement benefits are excellent. 


18. Where do you go from here? 
Well, headquarters thought I could use a vacation so they’re sending me to Honolulu for a week or two - and hey, by the way, thanks for sending your per capita fees in on time!


19. When will you be finished? 
44 days… eight hours… 32 minutes.


I am well aware that family and friends may not find this quite as entertaining as I did but like with any job - we get out fair share of "well duh." moments with chapter members.  I have lucked out since my last post though and not had too terribly many of these :) Here is where I've been:


Chapman University - Orange, CA
I went back to Chapman for another couple of days before heading home for a weekend break.  I was glad to be back in familiar territory AND I got to see my lovely friend Ann Marie who was home from South Carolina on Spring Break.  We walked around Balboa Island for the day and caught up after going over a year without seeing each other!  I also had dinner with my FC love Emily!  This is the first time we have seen each other on the road so we were both excited.  We had dinner at Duke's in Malibu and drove around in the fancy new Mustang that Avis hooked me up with for the week.

walking Balboa

dinner with Emily :)

Furman University - Greenville, SC
After a much too short break I didn't have far to go for my next visit.  Mom drove me up to Greenville and dropped me off for a few days on Furman's beautiful campus.  It was SO nice to be close to home and in familiar territory.  The chapter there is incredibly sweet and I got to attend the initiation of 44 new members to Gamma Xi - their biggest pledge class yet!  On my last night in town I went to downtown Greenville with a few friends and loved it.  For a girl who doesn't have weekends frequently I've been getting to see quite a few friends lately - and enjoying every moment of it :)

walking the lake at Furman

Chapman University - Orange, CA

I'm back at Chapman for another week and a half of hanging out with the Epsilon Nu chapter.  Yesterday I had St. Patrick's Day off so I went with Chandler (who I live with) out to a few bars in Tustin and Newport to enjoy the green beer festivities.  So far this visit is off to a fun start!

celebrating St. Patrick's Day with Chandler and friends

Long Overdue, Part 2

"So where are you from?"
I roll my eyes because I wrote them all a letter explaining the exact conversation we are about to have.
"South Carolina. I went to the University of SC."
"Oh that's cool.  Is it (insert stereotype here) there?"
"No, not really..."
"Where do you want to live after this?"
"I'm moving to Charleston."
"Where's that?"
what I want to say...
"You've never heard of it? That sucks. It's a lot nicer than it is here."
what I actually say...
"The coast of South Carolina. Here watch this video..."


Now don't mistake me, most people I meet are wonderful.  But there are those few that catch me with the wrong questions on a bad morning and I can't help but force them to sit through a YouTube video about the greatest city from the greatest state in the good ol' US of A.


This morning on my plane ride to Southern California from Moscow, Idaho (pronounced, moss-co, y'all) I was listening to my typical country music playlist and one of my favorites came on.  "Little Miss" by Sugarland has been played loudly in my '97 BMDub (BMW, not so hip friends) since the summer of 2010 when I first heard it on the radio - but boy do those words mean something different now.  This job is rough some days, and it's hard to have the get-up-and-go attitude when sometimes all you need is a Sunday afternoon and a hammock.  If it has done nothing else for me, I will forever appreciate my weekends.  But like with anything, I'll be okay.  This is one of the coolest things I'll ever do, along with one of the toughest.  I'm always "on", always going...like alwaysalwaysalways.  When Jennifer Nettles sings, "Little miss, I'll take less when I always give so much more...Little miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out," I can't help but smile and be reminded of my year thus far.  Then I belt out (in my head, of course, not to disturb the sweet lady beside me in 9A) "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, I'll be alright again!"  I swear I will conquer this whole life the sweet Lord has given me if I can just get through these next two months...with the help of a lotta prayer and a lotta Starbucks.


So where has my head been restin' these past few weeks?


Chapman University - Orange, CA
My home away from home for the semester.  Chapman is our newest chapter, about 2-years-old, so they get extra lovin' to make sure they are staying on the right track.  I couldn't be happier I got this assignment - talk about some pretty weather!  I stay with a sweet family in Irvine, about a 15 to 30 minute (depending on traffic) commute to campus.  The Murphys have been wonderful!  And it is so fun that one of the daughters, Chandler, is my age and at home right now until she starts nursing school in May.  I actually get to be a real person when I'm there and hang out :)

My very own bedroom? Heaven!

A little blurry since it's from the car.
Don't worry Mom, I was stopped.

Elon University - Elon, NC
Past home to Emily Wise, a fellow consultant!  So of course, they treated me so incredibly well.  This is where I spent my Valentine's Day - which wasn't so bad when I got a special delivery of flowers from sweet Emily!  I hung out with the house residents and their adopted "house cat" Poseidon, whom I love.  As my mother can attest to, I would take in every stray if possible so I may or may not have encouraged Poseidon to come inside a couple of times.  That's not against house policy is it?  Oh it is?  I apologize.  Oops.  It was nice to be close to home and not get the "Aw, that's so cute!" face every time I said y'all.

Beautiful flowers from Em :)

Poseidon - highlight of my visit. Normal, right?

University of Missouri - Columbia, MO
A quick stop to see our newest SEC friends was next!  And boy are they pumped to join the best conference in the country - but who can blame them, right ;)  I got a tour of their AMAZING rec center that looked like a grotto/cave/something really cool and got to experience a little cold weather before spending most of the month in sunny California.  It was fun to be at a campus with Greek Life that reminded me a lot of South Carolina's.  I even got to see their performance in the RAMS (Race Against Multiple Sclerosis) Lip Sync Competition - at which they kicked butt performing a rendition of Sister Act.

Mizzou's Memorial Union

The Columns

UCLA - Los Angeles, CA
I took a Friday/Saturday trip from Orange County up to LA to do a recruitment workshop with the women of the UCLA chapter.  It was a super quick visit, but I still had enough time for a campus tour and a couple of dinners in the cool, Westwood area around campus.  You know, the area bordered by Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, and Brentwood?  Yeah, not nice at all.  I will be returning to visit the Bruins again next month for a regular visit - and hopefully more time to explore the beautiful area.

Beautiful tile work at the UCLA house!

University of Idaho - Moscow, ID
I took a trip up to Idaho this past weekend for another Reflections training visit like my one at Tennessee - only this time I was flying solo.  Literally.  I love doing Reflections visits though because schedules aren't packed 8 to 10 with officer meetings...just 9 to 5 with a workshop instead.  And then a day free!  A tease of a weekend, but I'll take it!  I ate at several of their local dives, which were all amazing, and got to experience huckleberry barbecue sauce. One word: yum.

Administration building on Idaho's campus

Long Overdue, Part 1

"‘For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

Look vaguely familiar?  It's been posted before.  And I'll post it again.

Sometimes it is so hard between the early morning and late night meetings, packed flights and busy airports, job searching and apartment finding, to remember that I need to breathe.  I need to have faith that my Father is going to look out for me and all I can do is the day by day.

I thought second semester would be a breeze. And I suppose to some extent it has been - in that it's flying by like the wind.  But if by "breeze" I was thinking easy, I was thinking wrong.  So my schedule has slowed.  Instead of 23 different visits, this semester I only have 13.  But my worries have not.  I'm not freaking out about missing flights and sleeping on what are most likely dirty sheets anymore, but I am obsessing over finding an apartment and a means to pay for it once this gig is up in May. So if you're reading this, go ahead and send a prayer up to the Big Guy for me on that one - it is much needed and appreciated!

As far as the visits have gone though - I have been loving it!  Here's an account of the first leg:

The University of Tennessee - Knoxville, TN

First visit of the semester, and my favorite all year.  Fellow consultant Sarah and I got to do this one together - which I cannot explain how excited that made us!  We went to help the chapter implement a body image program Tri Delta is proud of called Reflections.  It is the first evidence-based peer-led body image education and eating disorder prevention program that has been repeatedly shown to work, and is the first designed for and in collaboration with an international sorority.  Pretty cool right?  Since the training was only a day and we were there for 5, it gave Sarah and I a lot of time to explore Knoxville.  This is the only time I've actually questioned whether I could handle living farther than two hours from the coast - there is something about those Tennessee mountains.  It helps that it is only an hour from Nashville, where I went for the first time over my winter break.  Wes and I went to visit his sister the week before I left for my spring travels, and let me tell you I can't wait to go back!  It pains me to say it, but I think I could have even overlooked the orange and been a Volunteer if UT had been on my list of college visits.  I left a little bit of my heart in Knoxville!

Neyland Stadium

The University of Louisiana at Lafayette - Lafayette, LA

I got to go see my Ragin' Cajuns again!  And enjoyed it just as much as last time.  It is always so nice going back to a place where they already know your name.  The sweet UL girls took me out to eat way too much (again) and I was there just in time for the beginning of crawfish season!  It was nice to visit with them some more, and meet with all of their newly slated officers.  I stayed with Sara, the member who planned my visit to UL in the fall, at her parents' home which was so fun.  I got to sleep in a real bed and we chatted about the fact that she applied to be a Field Consultant next year!  I have my fingers crossed for her, I think she'd be amazing at it!

Out to eat with the UL ladies

Beginning of crawfish season!

Louisiana State University - Baton Rouge, LA

The ladies at LSU treated me so, so well - which I'm sure my fellow consultant AnneMarie, a LSU alum, made sure of :) I stayed in their alumni center hotel...the same weekend as the football team was having their end of the year banquet.  I got to see the Honey Badger in all of his post National Championship Game glory...er, well, not so much glory, I guess.  But you know what I mean.  I was taken to a basketball game, got to see Mike the tiger (the real one and the mascot), as well as enjoy some more Cajun food.  I probably put on a good 5 pounds between this visit and my time at UL.

With Mike the Tiger at the basketball game

Real Mike!

The University of Southern Mississippi - Hattiesburg, MS

Home of the Golden Eagles...formerly home to General Nat (Nathan Bedford Forrest) - those Mississippi schools and their mascots.  My third and final visit to a school in the great state of MS.  This is such a welcoming chapter and I loved getting to visit Hattiesburg.  I was hoping for a Brett Favre sighting, but no such luck. This visit was a super short one, so we hardly even had time to cram a campus tour in before I had to leave on an earrrrly morning flight back to SC for my first break.  I always feel bad for the chapters who have to squeeze so many meetings into such a small amount of time, but they did it with ease!  

And this ladies and gentlemen, is my to be continued...

But don't worry, it will be continued sooner rather than later - keep your eyes peeled for a post in the next couple of days!